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Love is respect

By
Mary Mandley
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By Autumn Kirkham

lifeatstart.com reporter

Did you know that one in ten high school students have been purposely slapped, hit, or punched by their girlfriend or boyfriend? From a personal experience, it’s hard to get out of these kinds of situations. When you really love a person, you find it hard to let them go no matter the circumstances. I was in that position for over a year. I could never find a way out because no matter what was done to me, mentally or physically, I always found reasons to stay. Although, later on in my life I got to a point I started to realize things would never change and if I stayed it’d only make it worse.

Being in a toxic relationship messes you up mentally. So, I started to not really care about myself and forgot how to love myself. Even though in my head I didn’t think it was possible to move on, I did. It is possible to do it, you just have to want to do it. When you finally get away from something that has been putting you down for so long, not even realizing you slowly lost yourself, it is a good feeling. I want people my age, even older, girls and boys, to know they are human. I think every human should be treated equal and it is important to love yourself; because when you can’t love yourself, how could you ever love someone else? You may think you love them but until you truly love yourself, that’s when it becomes something real.

Severed ties

By
Mary Mandley
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0

By Josie Sanchez

LifeAtStart.com reporter

Dear best friend,

or you know, I guess I no longer carry the right to call you that. It’s been two years now since you last decided that you no longer wanted to carry on our friendship. This is not a letter to wish you back into my life because I’ve made it all on my own, although sometimes I do miss you.

I do hope that you are doing okay and I wish the best for you just as I always have. I hope that you were able to finish school even though I know how much you always hated it. Hopefully you were able to move out and go back to your hometown like you couldn’t wait to do when you turned 18. I pray that you have found someone that you’re able to be comfortable with and I hope he loves you. I hope that you’ve found a new best friend.

Even though some days I’m overcome with thoughts of you when I visit certain places, I’ve learned to do things on my own. I’ve learned to be my own person and to not depend on others. Although making friends sometimes feels almost impossible, I’ve learned to pick and choose who I hang around, I guess that you contributed to that. I never will truly understand why our friendship ended but I don’t just focus on the bad ending for us, I still think of the good.

It’s crazy to me that we haven’t talked in years but I still feel the need to dial your number and call you just to tell you about all the wild things going on. Sometimes I revisit all the photos I still have saved in my camera roll and look back on those days. I have found old text between us and they just kill me inside knowing we were once that close but it will never be that way again.

No matter how things ended between the two us, I am thankful for the memories that we shared and I’m always thankful for the time that I got to call you my best friend. I hope that you were able to fill that spot that I no longer carry. I hope that your life is now everything you wished for and more. I’m sorry if this is slightly weird in anyway. Thank you for bringing me into your life for the period you did. I miss you but I hope you’re doing well.

Sincerely,

Your ex best friend.

Layers of fear

By
Mary Mandley
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By Cari Floyd

Lifeatstart.com reporter

It’s 11:00 on a Monday night. I’m laying on my bed starring at the ceiling waiting for my eyes to become heavy so I can slip off into a much needed sleep. I slowly begin to fall asleep when my friend Ava walks in my room & wakes me up. You see, Ava was known for asking way too many questions and bringing up odd situations at inappropriate times. She begins to ask me a million questions. “Did you lock the doors?” “Did you turn all the lights off?” “Did you lock your car doors?” I’m getting angry because all I want to do is go to sleep but she just wants to keep bugging me. Then, she begins to ask me about all those embarrassing and awkward moments I had in middle school like the time I tripped and fell in front of the whole class. These moments were years ago yet when Ava brings them up it feels as though it was just yesterday and it begins to embarrass me all over again.

I can see all the things I’ve ever done begin to come back to me as if they all just happened and I’m reliving them. I’m remembering dumb things I said and did when I was just a kid, like the time I told my brother I hated him. These unwanted memories begin to stress me out, even though they were years ago and the situations are irrelevant now. No matter how big or how small the situation was Ava makes me remember and makes me feel like I never want to show my face again. In reality, I’m the only one who remembers these things happening. I’m the only one that stresses about situations that are months or even years old. My old friend Ava’s real name is Anxiety. She makes me question everything under the moon. From the way I said “here” when the teacher was taking attendance to the things I say to people that I later regret because I should’ve said something else.

She paralyzes me with fear of the little things, like sitting at a stop light for too long. I hate how she worries me with things that aren’t worth worrying about. How she comes and reminds me of things that I don’t really want to remember. Everywhere I go, she’s goes too, following me like a lost puppy and asking a million questions. “What if something bad happens?” “Are they starring at you?” “Are they talking about you?” I hate her with everything in me but that never stops her from coming back.

Eyes wide shut

By
Mary Mandley
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0

By Tatiyana Haythorne

LifeAtStart.com reporter

The night was dark with clouds filling the sky. Raindrops beating made a peaceful lullaby. Fan in the window, such a cool night. Snugged in bed, every thought from the day running through your head, until you calmly fall asleep. Dreaming of what seemed to be sweet dreams.

Suddenly your eyes flash open. Your body is still. First a beautiful tune that put you to sleep is now little drops of horror. The bolts of lightning that scars the sky rips through your window and disturbs the softness of the night. Now the sound of thunder takes the leading role in a eerie track of repetition. You try to move but your body doesn’t allow it. You are stuck in a uncomfortable position. Eyes moving rapidly around the room panicking. Trying to swing yourself onto the floor, but no matter how hard you try your body still doesn’t bulge. It feels as though there is a weight laying on your back. You lay there still thinking of your next move. Then there’s a light growl that dances around with a heartless strain. It grows deeper and longer with every breath you take. Until it sounds like it’s bursting through your ears. If you weren’t already tied down still, you would be stuck in shock. Your mind wondering what exactly is this harsh agony of a noise. Slowly you adjust your eyes to be able to see just over your shoulder. When a face peaks strongly in front of you looking into your soul with pools of blood shot eyes. Skin of gray, as if it was just dug up out of the ground. Long, dark, sharp nails quickly move across you face. The image of IT lets out a whale that bounces off the four walls. You gasp back into reality and suddenly you are able to move again. And the sharp pain that was weighing on your back is no more.

Now the sun is beautifully peaking through your window giving off such an elegant light. In a choir of perfect harmony the birds chirp. The smell of freshly picked flowers creates a wonderful aroma. A horrific dream seems to be the only explanation for the events that were taken place in the depths of the night. You get up for your every morning routine. You enter the bathroom taking a handful of water to throw across your face. Then taking a towel dabbing it dry. First starting with your forehead, next the right side of your face, and lastly the left. You then feel a shock of pain that makes your whole body cringe. You look in the mirror quickly removing the towel. There lies a mark from IT branding you face surrounded by splatters of black polish. You have experienced sleep paralysis.

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